Swimming with (Metaphorical) Crocodiles

I am a lover of quotes. Inspirational, funny, philosophical, anything that just grabs my attention and makes me go hmm. . .I intend to share a quote a week with you here, and whatever my thoughts happen to be at the time. If you live in the river, you should make friends with the crocodile. ~Indian Proverb I was trying to figure out how to go about explaining the new-found circumstances of my life when I happened upon this pithy sentence on Twitter (courtesy of @chrisguilleabeau–and people say that Twitter is a waste of time!). I’ve been struggling with the fact that I haven’t been moving forward with my ittybiz as quickly as I would like. I have all these ideas and neatly mapped out goals and yet it seems to be one step forward, two steps back. I keep reading about how it’s necessary to push yourself to the nth degree to make it as a solopreneur, but my nth degree seems to be lowering all the time. Turns out, my nth degree is directly related to my thyroid. In January, I found out I was hypothyroid (you can read more about it here but in a nutshell, my thyroid under-performs and makes life very difficult). This brought with it both relief and anger.  I am relieved to know that I am not a hypochondriac and that there are things I can now do to feel better. I am angry because had the lab I’d gone to a few years ago used the now accepted narrower range of “normal,” I could have had a lot of stuff dealt...

Following Your Heart to Breakfast

I am a lover of quotes. Inspirational, funny, philosophical, anything that just grabs my attention and makes me go hmm. . .I intend to share a quote a week with you here, and whatever my thoughts happen to be at the time. “Everyone should carefully observe which way his heart draws him, and then choose that way with all his strength.”~Hasidic saying As I sit with this saying, I see that there are two main parts: observation and choice. Observation Before one can act, one must carefully take a good look at what is going on. It is not enough to just sit with the facts; you have to carefully listen to what the heart is saying. If a friend wants to go out when I have been planning a quiet evening in, for instance, my thought process may go something like this: “I can’t say no. We haven’t seen each other in awhile and I don’t want to appear uninterested. But I’m so tired and was really looking forward to vegging out on the couch. Saying no would be too selfish. Nobody is going to be entirely happy with whatever I decide.” But if I take a moment to get quiet and go into my heart, I can find out what I really need more—to connect with my friend or to honor my need to rest. I’ve been in this position and sometimes one need is more important than the other. The point is to really observe what is going on and to make an informed choice–then stick with it. Choice Decisions can seem so hard. Surface needs,...

Giving Guilt a Rest

I am a lover of quotes. Inspirational, funny, philosophical, anything that just grabs my attention and makes me go hmm. . .I intend to share a quote a week with you here, and whatever my thoughts happen to be at the time. “Time and the hour runs through the roughest day.”~Shakespeare (Macbeth, I:iii) Sometimes it feels like time and the hour are running all over me, not just through the day. Usually I take comfort in this quote, because it’s another way of saying that nothing lasts forever. No matter how bad the day is, it will have an end. Night will fall and, God willing, I will surrender everything to sleep. What do you do when sleep is little respite? If you can’t sleep well or are plagued by dreams that leave you with  a clenched jaw and hunched shoulders? What do you do when the next day just seems to get rougher? It can be hard to trust that the mercy of time will make it’s soothing effect known any time soon. Sometimes it’s really hard to see that the hamster wheel does eventually stop. Stopping the Wheel: Voluntary or Involuntary? I’ve always believed that when I get sick it means I haven’t been giving myself enough rest. So why I got a cold last weekend (involuntary stop) even though my hypothyroidism has been causing me to sleep more and more, I don’t know. Or do I? Maybe I am being perfectly good about getting enough physical rest. Maybe I need a mental rest. Or an emotional rest. Hmmm. I guess I do know what I need....

Got Experience?

I am a lover of quotes. Inspirational, funny, philosophical, anything that just grabs my attention and makes me go hmm. . .I intend to share a quote a week with you here, and whatever my thoughts happen to be at the time. “Experience is one thing you can’t get for nothing.”~Oscar Wilde This what I remind myself of when I start thinking I’m not good enough. Not good enough to write a book. Not good enough to be a parent. Not good enough to start a business. However, you can’t become experienced at anything without having experiences, so if you wait to try something because you’re not experienced, you’re not really going to get anywhere. We’re Not Alone It’s reassuring to see other people struggling with this and being transparent about it. People write books all the time, bestsellers even, with little-to-no previous writing experience. Just about any parent will tell you that a lot of the time, they have no idea what they are doing. And yet, brilliant, wonderful, happy children get raised all the time. Bloggers, especially (at least the ones I latch onto), are generous enough to point out that they, too, started from a place of inexperience. Even the super-successful ones will tell you it didn’t happen overnight and that there was a lot of trial and error. * * * For a long time, I thought I couldn’t do things because I wasn’t experienced enough. Take this blog. When I first started thinking about blogging, almost a year ago, I read everything I could about how to write a successful blog. It was overwhelming,...

Float Like a Butterfly

I am a lover of quotes. Inspirational, funny, philosophical, anything that just grabs my attention and makes me go hmm. . .I intend to share a quote a week with you here, and whatever my thoughts happen to be at the time. “‘How does one become a butterfly?’ she asked pensively. ‘You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.'” ~Trina Paulus This is exactly where I am. To gain, one must lose. I want so badly to fly but I have been holding on to my caterpillar-ness, trying somehow to keep what feels familiar and safe, even though it is holding me to the ground. I have cocooned enough. I am ready to break out and show my colors to the world. But first, I must honor the caterpillar I was and then let it go. To You, Caterpillar Thank you for teaching me both the comfort and the stagnancy of security. Because of you, I have experienced jobs that kept me fed and clothed and provided a sense of routine. Thank you for making sure that I took a good long look at the “safe” path, for now I know I am ready to leave it. Thank you for teaching me not to rock the boat, because now I am ready to send many ships out to sail and let them ride out whatever storms come their way. Time to Fly Butterfly, here’s what I’m looking forward to with you: I will be colorful and bold. I will gracefully dodge all butterfly-catchers. I will launch myself time and again...

I’m Allergic to Fun That Involves Other People

I am a lover of quotes. Inspirational, funny, philosophical, anything that just grabs my attention and makes me go hmm. . .I intend to share a quote a week with you here, and whatever my thoughts happen to be at the time. “Nothing in life is trivial. Life is whole wherever and whenever we touch it, and one moment or event is not less sacred than another.” ~Vimala Thakar This is exactly the kind of moment I had lying on the couch yesterday afternoon as I drifted off into my second nap. See, I’ve been sick for the last five days. Nothing serious, just a bad cold with the annoying sore throat, runny nose and extreme fatigue that is par for the course. What’s really annoying is that this is my second cold in a month, and I’m usually very healthy. I used to wish I would get sick more often so I could skip out on work, but alas, my immune system wouldn’t cooperate. Now I’m self-employed and need every healthy minute I can get to really get my business up and running and instead I’m losing more and more time to ill health. But back to that moment (I just read a blog post yesterday on how hard it is for even good writers not to off on tangents, and whatever kind of writer I am I totally saw myself. So sorry about my tangentialness; I’ll work on it). As I said, I was lying there, having thoughts about how much I wasn’t getting done and how guilty I felt for just laying around and then—boom! Peace...