Owning My Space is a concept I first learned about in, and most associate with, acting classes. I was taught that when I am on stage, I need to own my space. No matter how nervous or inadequate I feel, that space is mine and I need to act like it. I can’t rely on approval from others (teachers, coaches, directors, parents, peers) to make me feel confident in that space. Whether my delivery is foul or fantastic, it is MINE and I need to own it.
This has been coming up for me as I hang out in England. I find myself in other people’s space all the time, unsure of what to do and how to do it. This ranges from the practical, like Where do you put the recycling? to the emotional, like Is it okay to silently retreat into reading while you guys watch TV or do I need to be ‘sociable’? Is it okay to put this much of my stuff here? Should I be offering to help? Insisting on or accepting others’ refusual of help? When I offer my opinion, am I owning my space or being selfish? Am I letting other people’s stuff into my space and to bend my brain?
There is also the owning my role as a business owner. I talk about needing time to work but keep waiting for a challenge. As if it is obvious that I am not really that successful and thus am inflating my sense of importance. This feeling persists even though I have actual, legitimate client work to do. I have more internal work to do, like creating project templates and organizing files. I also have my marketing activities, like blogging and grooving on social media sites. I can’t quantify everything I do, and thus explaining it is hard. Maybe I should worry less about explanations.
I thought that traveling would fire up my creative muse and blog posts would practically write themselves. I thought maybe I would finally feel inspired to write a short story or two. Instead, I find myself wanting to absorb and soak up, like the spring ground that is just beginning to sprout flowers. I want to Ground so I can Own My Space.
What do I know about Grounding?
It means connecting to the Earth and to the intangible hum of life that is in every atom from my soul to the furthest reaches of the Universe (as much as something that is infinite can have furthest reaches, anyway). I know that meditating is the best way for me to do this, and so I’ve been more careful about starting my day by sitting.
Grounding is about feeling my way into support, allowing gravity to do most of the work and not wasting energy trying to help it along.
It is about locking on to truth and authenticity.
It is standing on a cobbled street in the heart of London and for a moment thinking of how many feet have trod there before and how many will come after; stretching my mind to contain the thought of ancient times and a future where the city will no longer exist. My life may be finite but in that moment I am on a continuum that stretches forever, which makes me ask:
What is really important?
Love is really important. So is joy. The more I choose love and joy over fear and hate the more I am grounded.
What do I know about Owning My Space?
It means planting both feet firmly on the ground. Establishing and maintaining good posture that is relaxed but balanced and straight. It means accepting my right to be where I am. To have my forcefield and to let others have theirs.
I decide what happens in my space, in my realm. I decide whether to subjugate myself to another or to try and subjugate them to me, aiming to do less of both. I strive to live and let live, to know that no one is better nor worse than I am.
It means taking turns of service, giving and receiving.
It’s about self-trust. If I would rather read than watch TV, I can assert my valid claim when that desire is challenged. I am not depriving anyone else of watching TV, after all.
And now I will heed the call to be fertile soil, receiving the nutrients I need to grow and give back to the world. I cannot force myself to bloom before my time, and there is a sweet peace in giving up that struggle.
* * *
What do you know about Grounding and Owning Your Space? Please leave a comment and let me know!