Reflecting on 2011

I am beginning my transition between 2011 and 2012.  I want to take some time with this, so I will be reflecting and planning over the next few weeks. While this will be inspired by many sources, my main work is being done through Goddess Leonie’s Creating Your Goddess Year 2012*. I won’t be sharing everything, as some things are too close to my heart, but I hope what I do share may help guide you in your transition, whatever form that takes.

Celebrating & Releasing 2011

Gratitude

I really wanted to breeze through the celebrating portion of this as 2011 was another rough year, and I am ready to let go of it.

Even in the roughest years, however, there are good things; some come in ugly wrapping and some shine like the sun. My gratitude list includes:

Spending time with my family, especially my nephew and grandmother. Seeing the world from the perspective of one who is at the beginning of the journey and one who is near the end humbles and enlightens me every day.

My husband. No matter how tense things got, we always remembered that we were on the same team and were willing to do the work necessary to have a healthy, happy relationship.

A trip to Edgefield (adult beverage heaven).

A trip to France.

Winning a free biz coaching session with Yollana Shore. Magic happened in that hour and 2012 will be the better for it.

The lump I found in February turned out to be normal. Being cancer-free is awesome, even if I still have fibromyalgia. There are many shades of health.

A new client/mentor/friend whose project helped me see the exact direction I want my biz to take.

I rocked 2011 because:

I cut back on my alcohol intake, which was either normal or ridiculous depending on who you ask. When I do imbibe, I find that after a glass or two of wine, it’s not really doing anything for me and the way I feel the next day isn’t worth it.

I got the help I needed when depression and anxiety took over.

Of how I handled driving in France. Instead of freaking out, I used my tools–like Heidi’s Sassypants potion, Shiva Nata, and assuming an action heroine attitude–to get me in the right frame of mind and the driving was mostly good. It was much easier than Ireland (the first foreign country I drove in), because France orients itself on the same side of the road as us Yanks. Merci, la belle France.

I continued to care about making my biz work, even when I couldn’t see how I’d ever avoid seeking employment again. The jury is still out on that, but I know I do not want to just give up.

I have been teaching piano to one very talented student and really enjoying it.

A client sought me out to edit his autobiography and I won out over other candidates (even one with a Ph.D!) because he felt I was a visionary, not a conformer.

Dreams that were realized

I hate to be cynical, but I don’t really feel like many dreams came true. I did go to France and see the Louvre, which was on my bucket list.  I got a cute new pair of Uggs, which I’ve been longing to buy for a couple of years.  A dear friend who struggled for years to conceive is expecting her baby boy on Christmas. Having her dream come true has made me happy. Other than that. . .well, it could have been worse.

Beautiful lessons learned

I can use the color pink as a proxy for money (a shout-out to Havi), and that  is changing my relationship with wealth for the better. I’m not always comfortable saying “I want more money” but have no problem saying “I want more pink!”

I wasn’t quite ready to have a baby, because I needed to put myself first before becoming a mother.

I have a pattern of feeling left out that needs some attention.

I often let go of the spotlight even though I resent doing so, because I think I “should”  because that’s what a selfless person would do.

Trying to fight what I want doesn’t make me want it any less, and wanting a cute pair of shoes doesn’t make me a horrible person.

One of the most important things I can do in this life is to keep myself joyful. Joy is contagious. It is not only okay to be happy even though so many people suffer, but it is one of the best ways to raise the vibration of the world as a whole. Think of Scrooge: when he was infected by the happiness of Tiny Tim, he made changes that benefited not only himself, but his entire community.

Things I want to release so I can dream my 2012 with peace and joy:

  • Inadequacy
  • Fear
  • Injustice
  • Loss
  • Failure
  • Lack
  • Jealousy of the unlimited-seeming number of women I know getting pregnant/having kids.
  • Jealousy of the success of other entrepreneurs.
  • Comparing myself to anyone else.
  • Limiting beliefs, especially around pink (aka money).
  • The strained relationship fibromyalgia has caused between me and my body.

All in all, 2011 has been another rough year. Yes, I learned a lot that has been of huge benefit but it has been painful. I’m ready to learn with less pain. I think I’ll start by having a very merry December.

Has this prompted any thoughts for you? If you are comfortable, share in the comments. I’d also be happy to hear from you confidentially at cmyers@ladymyerswordsmithing.com.

*Affie Link

6 Comments

  1. Thoughtful review of your year, Christine. Go ahead and grab all the pink and all the spotlight you want! You deserve it.

    I learned all about the iPad and apps and got in touch with like-minded people from England to Australia and points in between. I’ve practically cut diet soda out of my life, increasing water consumption a lot. I’m working on cutting out wheat and sugar and doing pretty well at it right now. A big achievement was helping Matt get his book down on paper. Can’t wait to see it in eBook form! Next year will be good because I’ll have my car paid off, my health should be better, and you-know-who will continue to amaze and delight me with his antics.
    Nancy Barth´s last blog post ..Comment on Just Shred It!!!! by The Shredder App from Sosh | OT’s with Apps

    Reply
    • Thanks!

      Great accomplishments, especially with the diet soda. I need to really work on the sugar and gluten, but it’s so hard right now! My first batch of sugar cookies will be gluten-free, so hopefully that will help.

      Reply
  2. Dearheart,

    Congratulations on all of your goals met and those already set firmly in your mind for the year ahead. I downloaded Leonie’s marvelous workbook last year, had a million excuses for why I couldn’t get started, and finally, when it felt like it was “too late” shrugged and said with a sense of relief, “Well, it’s too late now…” MY biggest resolution at this point is to get the ding dang thing going. You have inspired me so much as of course has Leonie and others, and reading your post helped me in ways you will never know. And I need more pink too and I worry about it all the time and you just turned my world from black (or green!) and white into full-blown technicolor! I’m going to “think pink” and do my workbook and write my book and more and you will have had a big hand in it.

    Thank you so much, beautiful blessings and have a lovely holiday season…

    Maitri

    Reply
    • Thank you so much for sharing this! I love that I’m keeping the technicolor energy going that was given me by other bloggers.

      I think one of the reasons I’m actually working through the book is that I gave myself so much time, instead of stressing to have it all done by January 1st, or else! I’m also reminding myself that I don’t have to fill it out completely and can pick and choose the areas that most speak to me.

      Here’s to technicolor and a year full of pink!

      Reply
  3. Very thoughtful and inspiring. Going to work on mine now in my workbook but main beautiful lesson learned-don’t save things for best or special occasions! use the posh stuff now, the good shower gel, the expensive perfumed candle, the heating a few notches higher and not wait for Christmas! Life’s made up of little moments and the little moments are the important ones.
    To let go-feelings of being afraid of missing out, and constantly thinking the grass is greener. I’m thinking this is rooted in insecurity and inferiority complexes, not trusting myself that i’ve made the right choice, ie the other choice would have been better, someone else’s reality must be better than mine. Why? Thanks for being thought-provoking!

    Reply
    • Thank you!

      I’m glad you brought up the “use the posh stuff now” point and the importance of little moments. I’m always much happier when I remember this!

      Reply

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