I am beginning my transition between 2011 and 2012. I want to take some time with this, so I will be reflecting and planning over the next few weeks. While this will be inspired by many sources, my main work is being done through Goddess Leonie’s Creating Your Goddess Year 2012*. I won’t be sharing everything, as some things are too close to my heart, but I hope what I do share may help guide you in your transition, whatever form that takes.
Celebrating & Releasing 2011
I really wanted to breeze through the celebrating portion of this as 2011 was another rough year, and I am ready to let go of it.
Even in the roughest years, however, there are good things; some come in ugly wrapping and some shine like the sun. My gratitude list includes:
Spending time with my family, especially my nephew and grandmother. Seeing the world from the perspective of one who is at the beginning of the journey and one who is near the end humbles and enlightens me every day.
My husband. No matter how tense things got, we always remembered that we were on the same team and were willing to do the work necessary to have a healthy, happy relationship.
A trip to Edgefield (adult beverage heaven).
A trip to France.
Winning a free biz coaching session with Yollana Shore. Magic happened in that hour and 2012 will be the better for it.
The lump I found in February turned out to be normal. Being cancer-free is awesome, even if I still have fibromyalgia. There are many shades of health.
A new client/mentor/friend whose project helped me see the exact direction I want my biz to take.
I rocked 2011 because:
I cut back on my alcohol intake, which was either normal or ridiculous depending on who you ask. When I do imbibe, I find that after a glass or two of wine, it’s not really doing anything for me and the way I feel the next day isn’t worth it.
I got the help I needed when depression and anxiety took over.
Of how I handled driving in France. Instead of freaking out, I used my tools–like Heidi’s Sassypants potion, Shiva Nata, and assuming an action heroine attitude–to get me in the right frame of mind and the driving was mostly good. It was much easier than Ireland (the first foreign country I drove in), because France orients itself on the same side of the road as us Yanks. Merci, la belle France.
I continued to care about making my biz work, even when I couldn’t see how I’d ever avoid seeking employment again. The jury is still out on that, but I know I do not want to just give up.
I have been teaching piano to one very talented student and really enjoying it.
A client sought me out to edit his autobiography and I won out over other candidates (even one with a Ph.D!) because he felt I was a visionary, not a conformer.
Dreams that were realized
I hate to be cynical, but I don’t really feel like many dreams came true. I did go to France and see the Louvre, which was on my bucket list. I got a cute new pair of Uggs, which I’ve been longing to buy for a couple of years. A dear friend who struggled for years to conceive is expecting her baby boy on Christmas. Having her dream come true has made me happy. Other than that. . .well, it could have been worse.
Beautiful lessons learned
I can use the color pink as a proxy for money (a shout-out to Havi), and that is changing my relationship with wealth for the better. I’m not always comfortable saying “I want more money” but have no problem saying “I want more pink!”
I wasn’t quite ready to have a baby, because I needed to put myself first before becoming a mother.
I have a pattern of feeling left out that needs some attention.
I often let go of the spotlight even though I resent doing so, because I think I “should” because that’s what a selfless person would do.
Trying to fight what I want doesn’t make me want it any less, and wanting a cute pair of shoes doesn’t make me a horrible person.
One of the most important things I can do in this life is to keep myself joyful. Joy is contagious. It is not only okay to be happy even though so many people suffer, but it is one of the best ways to raise the vibration of the world as a whole. Think of Scrooge: when he was infected by the happiness of Tiny Tim, he made changes that benefited not only himself, but his entire community.
Things I want to release so I can dream my 2012 with peace and joy:
- Jealousy of the unlimited-seeming number of women I know getting pregnant/having kids.
- Jealousy of the success of other entrepreneurs.
- Comparing myself to anyone else.
- Limiting beliefs, especially around pink (aka money).
- The strained relationship fibromyalgia has caused between me and my body.
All in all, 2011 has been another rough year. Yes, I learned a lot that has been of huge benefit but it has been painful. I’m ready to learn with less pain. I think I’ll start by having a very merry December.
Has this prompted any thoughts for you? If you are comfortable, share in the comments. I’d also be happy to hear from you confidentially at firstname.lastname@example.org.