I was blessed to marry the love of my life a few months ago. After a delay of over a year, we wound up having two ceremonies: a civil ceremony in our backyard and a church wedding in Ireland.
Sounds amazing, right? And it was. I’m very happy with the way things eventually came together. The problem is that I still have some unresolved feelings about certain aspects, feelings that I have written off because of trying to focus on the positive and not wanting to complain.
Luckily, these feelings have been triggered so I can fully deal with them before they bury themselves uncomfortably in my psyche.
Last weekend I went wedding/bridesmaid dress shopping with a very dear friend, the rest of the maids, the mother of the bride, and a couple of other people. There was breakfast, champagne, a nice lunch and much festive girlishness that only bridal parties can do. Super fun!
So much fun, it made me sad. I never had a day like that. Not because of any tragic reason, but because I decided I wasn’t special enough for it. Nobody tried to make a big deal out of my dress shopping. My mother was living out of town. I didn’t have the budget for much of a dress anyway.
Now, I regret not making a bigger deal out of it. There were a couple of things, major things, that I couldn’t control. But I could have gone to a bridal shop and gotten the royal treatment just for the heck of it. It’s not like there’s a charge to go try on dresses.
I guess I didn’t want to do something so impractical. Now I know that whether I wound up buying an expensive dress or not (and I’m very happy with the two I got for less than what I’d budgeted for one), it would have been really nice to have the experience. I was worth the experience! And now I’ll never have it.
What I do have is a bit more wisdom. Feeling special can really only come from ourselves, and we’re the only ones who can prevent that feeling from happening.
Case in point: my bachelorette party was AWESOME! My friends and sisters made me feel incredibly special and threw me one heck of a perfect shindig. The friend I just went dress shopping with made sure we celebrated the whole weekend. I am deeply grateful for that weekend.
Bottom Line: always err on the side of too much special.