Well, you can’t ! Ha hahahahahah, HA!
Okay, sorry. That was a dirty trick. Although why you would want to rent space in my head is beyond me. Granted, it is intelligent and not too bad looking with great hair (courtesy of a fab cut & style yesterday). And maybe your head is full to overflowing. But really. . .
I’m actually clearing out my head right now. I’m creating a lot of space and while I’m not sure who I want to rent it to yet I am clear about who will not pass the background check.
Someone once passed on a bit of wisdom to me that really made an impact, although I can’t remember exactly how that wisdom was worded. The sentiment was this:
Don’t let anyone live rent-free in your head.
What I took that to mean was that you shouldn’t let others’ beliefs and opinions become the truth you believe about yourself unless they are the kind that build you up and have a positive effect on your life.
An example would be the parent who told you that a B in math just wasn’t acceptable with the result being that you decided you just weren’t good at math and never would be. You forever hear that person’s voice in your head when it comes to math and thus feel bad about yourself when you have to deal with numbers.
That example totally doesn’t apply to me because I pretty much got straight As. Wait a second, maybe it does. If I got (mostly) As in math, why do I go around believing that I’m not good at it? Hmmm.
Anyway, here’s an example that does apply to me:
When I was in grade school, I sang in the children’s choir at church. I loved singing and wanted to be good at it. One of my friend’s got chosen to do a solo and during one of our last rehearsals decided she’d feel more comfortable if I sang with her.
When we asked the choir director if that would be okay, he got a doubtful look on his face and it took some pleading on my friend’s part. What I took from this was that I wasn’t a very good singer. I thought his look of doubt meant he didn’t want me to sing a duet because then people would actually hear me and that would be embarrassing.
Since then, I’ve believed that I’m not solo material. I know I can carry a tune and even have a pleasant sound, but nothing that’s performance quality. Maybe the director was just doubtful about making a last minute change or thought the verse just sounded better with one voice. In any case, I let this one person and one incident form a deep truth about my vocal ability.
I have decided that it’s time to kick some people out. The tenants I just gave notice to, for lack of a more clever term, are “limiting beliefs.” Beliefs such as:
- I’m not good enough to make a decent amount of money.
- I’m not worthy if I don’t make said money.
- I can only be happy when my body is ideal and that means constant work.
- There is only fat and skinny and only flat stomachs are beautiful.
- I have to be stressed out to prove I take my life seriously.
- My house has to be spotless.
- Every second of my time needs to be accounted for and that time had better be spent productively.
I could go on and on, but the point is that I don’t have to let these beliefs live rent-free in my head. From now on, I’m going to pay close attention to any thoughts that break me down to find out where they really come from. Then, I’m sending them back to the person or situation from whence they came!
Want to do some head clearing with me? Just leave a comment with one or two “tenants” that you have decided to give the old heave-ho. Here’s to being airheads!